CHRISTMAS AND 2009

The Big Three of this year are, I think, obvious: election; economy; DFW. What these three kind of get at sums up what it means to be — for me at least and I’m sure for many of you — a person who — um, this is pretty hyperbolic but completely genuine — categorically denies that life is nothing more than a slow, boring death.

#1: Obama co-opted the language of a spiritual reality that spoke to pretty much everyone I know and won big. If you doubt that’s the case, then remember the last words of his DNC acceptance speech: “…and in the words of Scripture hold firmly, without wavering, to the hope that we confess.” Obama’s message of holding fast to hope resonates because this belief is either a) a trick of evolution that steers us away from self-annihilation; b) the crazy truth. Taken out of context, this language of hope feels rather nebulous: did anyone else ask, “What is it that Obama wants us to invest our hope in?” He’s got too much common sense to suggest in any way that government’s the solution and has too much humility to imply that he himself is gonna make straight the path leading forward. No, there’s little question that whom he wants us to believe in is none other than you and me and him together — the pronoun of the campaign, the pronoun of the calendar year: WE!!!!! This leads to #2.

#2: The collapse of the modern financial system exposed something that we generally try to keep under wraps: that is, we are pretty terrible at being WE. It’s not the we’re too greedy or don’t care about others — it’s simply that we just don’t know what to do with our autonomy. This cuts both ways. One obvious factor in this whole mess was the rapacity of some lenders to prey on first time homeowners. Another was social policy, though well intended, that encouraged homeownership for folks who had no cash money to pay for their mortgages. Both contributed to the propping up of a financial system that proved to be way overleveraged, way undercapitalized, the remnants of which bankruptcy lawyers and Neel Kashkari are having a field day sorting out. When it comes down to it, we just aren’t very good at being social individuals: responsible to others, yet free to will. We’re bad at being WE and if we’re really gonna believe in this thing called hope, we better look outward, not inward. This leads to #3.

#3: The suicide death of DFW means a lot more to me than either the Obama victory or the economic morass. I once considered myself a DFW superfan: attended numerous readings/signings (thinking now about my autographed hardcopy of IJ makes me sad when it used to make me feel, for lack of a better word, cool); imitated — badly — his style for an AP English essay on creativity-cum-onanism; read Infinite Jest 2x, so devastated by it that I still believe that no American writer will come close in my lifetime to going as huge as DFW did and succeed in showing me and you exactly what it is that makes these times so freaking weird and lonely and alienating. I was a DFW superfan. Then, I don’t know, after Hideous Men, I thought about DFW less often. I became passionate about other people. I transitioned from being an admirer to becoming a practitioner. Then, one night, I read on the NYTimes website that DFW was discovered dead. At home. By his wife. Can you imagine? His wife.

DFW looked inward and at the greatest cost, showed us who we are — broken and alone. We are the way we are because we are neither whole nor at home. DFW knew this; moreover, he went so far as to suggest that all this talk about how all you need to do is learn how to love yourself or put your foot down or know more and more stuff — DFW showed us all how dehumanizing and delusional such beliefs are. Hence, his admonition ““to need help”. Or, more poignantly, his notion of an entertainment so enjoyable that whoever watches it will die (IJ). DFW looked inside and exposed what we all know is true of ourselves — this becomes easier and easier to admit as we get older it seems — which is exactly why hope can’t be earned, but graced upon us. DFW knew this, but sadly, what he knew he could not believe.

My desire this Christmas and in the new year is that we act sacrificially — which I think is what Obama actually asks us to do —, but that we hope in the one who is with us and for us — Immanuel.

LOVE
ALEX

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K-ROD

Got him on the cheap. Good move considering the market and the price and the contract length.

A long, year end blog post is simmering…stay tuned.

Infatuation of the past two weeks — ROBOCOP by Kanye West.

LOVE
ALEX

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OBAMA!

It’s been a long time since I’ve been this joyous about anything in the realm of U.S. politics.  I love this country, and hope that this is a seismic shift towards a better tomorrow.  It’s a long road ahead.   We’re a country at war on the verge of financial meltdown.  But let’s take a deep breath.  On Tuesday, whether you voted for Obama or McCain, you were voting for a candidate who ran on a platform of change, each an impassioned architect for a better tomorrow.   And now, with the election behind us, we head from aspiration to action, from hope to healing.  We’re all in this together. 

Onward. - Eric

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DELUSION/SEEING

GK alerted me to this DFW quote from this month’s Rolling Stone piece on DFW:

“It was just feeling as though every axiom of your life turned out to
be false. And there was nothing, and you were nothing—it was all a
delusion. But you were better than everyone else because you saw that
it was a delusion, and yet you were worse because you couldn’t
function.”

C.S. Lewis has a different take on the same thing:

“But you cannot go on “explaining away” forever: you will find that you have explained explanation itself away. You cannot go on “seeing through” things forever. The whole point of seeing through something is to see something through it. It is good that the window should be transparent, because the street or garden beyond it is opaque. How if you saw through the garden too? It is no use trying to “see through” first principles. If you see through everything, then everything is transparent. But a wholly transparent world is an invisible world. To “see through” all things is the same as not to see.”

The question is: is there something there after you’ve seen through everything, after you’ve come to terms with the fact that “every axiom of your life turned out to be false?” Or, at the end of your investigation, do you decide that there’s nothing there? If there’s nothing there, then how does one function honestly? If there is something there, then isn’t the only honest response complete devotion to that which is there? Maybe both positions are extreme — hell, maybe concern for ontological authenticity is meaningless and impractical — but like I’ve said to people I care deeply about, this is literally a life and death situation that’s only magnified as we get older.

LOVE
ALEX

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paralegal (2006) - a short film

miles is a paralegal. rachel is a temp. and the moon, the moon is a strange place.

hope you enjoy, eric



paralegal - a short film from Eric Lane on Vimeo.

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Secret Dakota Ring - The Fade To Black - Music Video

Brothers and Sisters,

  Secret Dakota Ring is A-Ross’s solo project…  Here’s the music video Andy and I (along with the help of many) made for “The Fade To Black” off Secret Dakota Ring’s upcoming album, Cantarell.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYsslpUK1Q4&fmt=6 

  You can pre-order Cantarell at: http://www.insound.com/Secret_Dakota_Ring_Cantarell__PRE-ORDER_CD/productmain/p/INS50271/

  Hope you enjoy it, Eric 

  A TREMENDOUS THANK YOU to everyone who helped with this video: Kat, John, Jordan, Sarah T, Libby, Paul, Sarah L, Sarah D, Camden, Nick, Michelle, Bart, Camille, Dan, Eileen, Dave, Wendy, Katy, Paul Green School of Rock - Hollywood, Tarantino’s Pizza, Panasonic, IFP, and most importantly, ALL OF THE AWESOME KIDS!




Secret Dakota Ring - The Fade To Black from Eric Lane on Vimeo.

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TIME SUCK

I thought I’d have my time back after fantasy ended. I was wrong. Politics has taken over my life. And the economy. Politics and the economy have taken over my life. I’ve spent countless hours surfing the ‘net reading EVERYTHING that there is to read about Obama/McCain, CDOs, CRA, credit default swaps, Clinton’s liberal policy run amok, free markets, Reaganomics, Obamanomics, Palin, Glass-Steagall, deregulation/regulation, etc. etc. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

1) Free market capitalism is the best mechanism for growth, stability, innovation, and the spread of democratic, liberal values. It serves the common good better than any other system.
2) Unfettered deregulation coupled with weak oversight is what makes free markets bad.
3) Conservative governmental philosophy yoked to liberal social policy is amoral.
4) Leadership and character trump governmental philosophy this election.
5) McCain is a very good, if not great senator but a horrible presidential candidate.
6) Obama is a mediocre senator but a great presidential candidate.
7) People who really think Obama’s gonna change the world are doing a great disservice to Obama and are jeopardizing the hope for any sort of unity in this country, post-election.
8) Palin is a talented politician who embodies the absolute worst in American civil thought and discourse.
9) Debt is not the problem; leverage is.
10) This IS the most important election of our lifetime.

I don’t really care about those morons who attend Palin rallies and spew hateful invective. That’s just sad and pathetic to me. What gets me is how sincerely worshipful some are of Obama. That’s incredibly unfair to Obama, to the Democratic Party, and to those seeking some deeper meaning in their lives. No one, I mean, NO ONE can live up to the expectations we’ve created for this man and as I’ve said to some friends, the moment Obama starts making compromises — given how crazy the global economy is right now, that’s all but inevitable — the vultures are gonna descend and we’ll be, in large part, complicit.

There is no question in my mind that he is the right choice. No question. But I do worry that many Obama disciples will find themselves even more lost, even more uncertain about their identity and purpose in life once he’s in the White House.

LOVE
ALEX

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RACHEL GETTING MARRIED

So, like many others in America, I have caught the political bug. It’s a huge time drain on par with fantasy baseball which ended with CARLOS BAERGA — me — in 4th and JUMBO’S CLOWNS — Eric — finishing 7th. Having said that, I was able to squeeze in a movie over the weekend: RACHEL GETTING MARRIED.
A couple of quick thoughts:
1) Was pleasantly surprised by how good Anne Hathaway was. She’s a fine actor who’s terrific in stuff like DEVIL WEARS PRADA and quite empathetic and believable in RACHEL.
2) Though Demme goes a little overboard with his vision of a multi-culti euphoric utopia, there’s something to be said when one character says something like, “This is what heaven’s like.” Or an Obama rally.
3) “I don’t wanna believe in a God that wants to forgive a person like me.” (my paraphrase) That is so much more searing and honest about the difficulty of Christian faith than any screed concerning theodicy and the like. Seriously.
4) A much needed correction to MARGOT AT THE WEDDING. Empathetic, generous, and real whereas MARGOT was cruel and dishonest.

LOVE
ALEX

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CORRELATION CAUSATION

So, Wall Street fallout led to the Mets collapse? Or vice versa?
Either way, the METS break hearts and avarice continues to wreak havoc.

LOVE
ALEX

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SOLID

Tonight, Obama hit a solid triple; McCain, a double but was tagged out trying to stretch it to a triple.

Also, METS suck.

LOVE
ALEX

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